


Getting Naked And Playing With Guns

by trashcangimmick



Series: Psycho for Your Love [3]
Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: Camping, Cunnilingus, F/M, Fluff, Greyromantic Maya, I Am Emotions, Krieg Quotes Shakespeare, Overstimulation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-12
Updated: 2018-05-12
Packaged: 2019-05-05 19:45:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14625741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trashcangimmick/pseuds/trashcangimmick
Summary: Krieg and Maya have to camp out during a mission. It’s weirdly domestic. So Maya wrestles with complicated emotions and Krieg quotes Shakespeare.





	Getting Naked And Playing With Guns

**Author's Note:**

> Title from the [AJJ song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XvpcLhV9Sbw). Because honestly, it's the love song Krieg would write.

Maya doesn’t usually do the romance thing. Or rather, she’s never done it before, and wasn’t planning on doing it any time in the near future. She’s never been that sort of person? All the lovey dovey shit makes her uncomfortable and she runs away as fast as possible when someone starts giving her the moony eyes.

 

This thing with Krieg was supposed to be dirty, adrenaline-fueled tension release. It was supposed to be safe. Because Krieg is pretty much nothing but a body that just won't quit, with the occasional yelling about gristle thrown in. He is terrible at conveying complex ideas, if he has them at all. And although she’s gotten better at guessing what the fuck he might be talking about because she spends so much time with him—it’s still a lot of nonsense. Meat bicycles, bone shards and murder. It’s not much to base a friendship on. Let alone some other kind of relationship.

 

But Krieg, for all his violent eccentricities, is actually kind of sweet. It’s upsetting on so many levels.

 

“LOOK WHAT THE CAT DRAGGED IN!” Krieg drops a fresh Rakk corpse at Maya’s feet. They’ve been out in the Dust for days now, chasing down a particularly annoying Hyperion spy. Their MRE’s ran out last night. So presumably, this is dinner.

 

She almost wonders if this is some sort of meta joke. If Krieg knows that bringing her a dead animal as a present is something a cat would do.

 

“Well gosh, muscles. You shouldn’t have.”

 

“I LOVE TO WAIT FOR MY MEALS.” Krieg laughs maniacally.

 

“Yeah, don’t worry buddy. I’ll cook. I kinda think you’d be just as likely to flambé yourself as the Rakk if I let you near a fire.”

 

Maya pulls out her knife and starts to skin the Rakk. Krieg plops down near the mouth of be cave they’re staying in, shotgun resting across his lap. He’s covered in blood. Probably got into it with some bandits or something while he was out hunting. Or maybe killed more than one Rakk and just mangled the other ones so badly in his enthusiasm that they became inedible.

 

He seems quite at home out in the wilderness. More relaxed than he ever is at sanctuary. Maya sometimes wonders if it’s just that Krieg doesn’t like being up in the air, or if he actually notices the way everyone stares daggers at him. People don’t trust him. Everyone acts like Krieg is bound to snap at any moment and go on a murder spree. Which—yeah, Maya kind of gets it. If you just watched Krieg on the battlefield, it’s not a bad conclusion to draw. But he’s more than that. He knows the difference between friends and enemies. He’ll go out of his way to protect his friends. And hey, it’s not a bad thing to have a psycho on your side. It’s damn useful.

 

Or maybe Lilith is right, and Maya is an idiot, and someday Krieg is gonna turn on her like a rabid animal.

 

_“You’re like one of those crazy old ladies that tries to raise a monglet as a pet and acts all surprised when she gets her arm bitten off. Krieg is fucking feral and when you get tired of him and eventually reject him, he’s going to rip you in half.”_

 

Of course, the appropriate response to such a statement is not, “what if I never get tired of him?” but Lilith has a special knack for making Maya’s internal monologue become external. Which is why Lilith then gets pissy and sends them on wild goose chases to the middle of nowhere.

 

_“Fine! You wanna keep dragging your irradiated, killing machine of a fuck buddy on important missions, you can go screw things up in the desert where he belongs.”_

 

Maya makes a small fire and starts spearing pieces of Rakk meat on sticks. It’s a little like roasting marshmallows. The smell of food brings Krieg over. Maya lets him hold his own spit, after making him promise to hold it _over_ the fire and not _in_ it.

 

Krieg eats like he does everything. Messy, with enthusiasm. It’s a wonder he doesn’t swallow bits of twig the way he goes at the makeshift kebab. It’s one of the many things that should probably gross Maya out. But somehow she finds it endearing. She doesn’t have a martyr complex, like Lilith keeps insinuating. She doesn’t want to _save_ anybody. Quite the opposite. Somehow, the more irredeemably screwed up someone is, the more she likes them. Maybe because she’s so beyond fixing. If she just hangs out with people who are as fucked up as she is, then she doesn’t have to feel guilty.

 

“You know, I think grilled Rakk might taste better than MRE’s.” Maya takes out her flask and sips it.

 

“FRESH MEAT IS THE BEST MEAT.”

 

“I guess I should have just been letting you hunt for our dinner all along.”

 

“A MAN’S SACRED DUTY. PROVIDING FOR THE FAMILY WITH BLOODBATHS. ATROCITIES NOURISH THE SOUL.”

 

Maya’s heart might skip a little. Did the big lug just call her his family? Probably not a good idea to read into the ramblings of a mad man. But you know. A girl can dream.

 

She does move a little closer once they finish eating. Krieg is actually sitting still for once. So she rests her head on his massive shoulder. Presses up against him.

 

Some strange part of her imagines for a moment what it would be like to just stay here. Live in a cave. Hunt for food. Effectively be a pair of scavengers. It’s a stupid thing to fantasize about when she actually has a bed and four walls to go home to. It’s more than so many people on Pandora have.

 

“SHALL I COMPARE THEE TO A SUMMER’S DAY? THOU ART MORE LOVELY AND MORE TEMPERATE.” Krieg wraps his thick arm around her, pulling her even closer.

 

She doesn’t know what to do when he starts quoting Shakespeare or Moby Dick at her. It’s probably akin to a parrot that’s been fed a steady diet of classic literature. But it does make her wonder what Krieg might have been like before he went nuts. Was he an English professor or something?

 

How old is he? Where did he grow up? Did he have a family? A wife? Kids? All questions that she’ll probably never have an answer for. She’s never going to know anything more than the vague hints she can find in his rambling.

 

“Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?” Maya sighs a little. It’s a good question. _Why are you the way you are?_

 

“DENY THY FATHER AND REFUSE THY NAME. BE BUT SWORN MY LOVE AND I’LL NO LONGER BE A CAPULET.”

 

This might be the closest thing they’ve ever had to a coherent conversation. Maya sits up a little bit. Shit. If only she actually remembered more of that scene.

 

“AM I ALL WOUNDS WITH ADDERS? WHO WITH CLOVEN TONGUES DO HISS ME INTO MADNESS.”

 

Still Shakespeare, probably. But Maya can’t guess what play it could be from. Krieg is on a roll now. Speaking in that booming voice, gesturing dramatically with his meat skewer.

 

“I HAVE ALMOST FORGOT THE TASTE OF FEARS. THE TIME HAS BEEN, MY SENSES WOULD HAVE COOLED TO HEAR A NIGHT-SHRIEK. ALL OUR YESTERDAYS HAVE LIGHTED FOOLS THE WAY TO DUSTY DEATH.”

 

Huh.

 

“It’s kind of amazing how much your regular shouting patterns have in common with classic literature.”

 

“THESE VIOLENT DELIGHTS HAVE VIOLENT ENDS.”

 

Krieg tosses his skewer aside with a flourish and grabs her. He lifts her up and sets her back down in his lap, wrapping her in a tight hug. His mask is still pulled halfway up his face from dinner. He doesn’t like to remove it completely. He has yelled things to the effect of “WE ARE NAKED WITHOUT OUR FACE!” so she doesn’t ask him to take it off very often.

 

Maya cups Krieg’s angular jaw and lets their lips brush together. His kisses are much gentler than you’d expect. Soft and lingering. Like they have all the time in the world and there’s nothing else he’d rather be doing.

 

It just makes Maya desperate to push, and take, and try to satisfy that strange hunger twisting at her core. She squirms out of her clothes. For once, they’re not in immediate danger of being shot at or stumbled across. So she takes the time to undress Krieg as well.

 

Maya has gotten used to the lack of hair anywhere on Krieg’s body. It’s probably a side effect of whatever made him into a psycho in the first place. Lord knows he doesn’t shave.

 

Once they’re both naked, Maya pins Krieg on his back, straddling his hips. She’s already so wet. Her underwear have been uncomfortably sticky for hours. She’s ready to just sink down on him and get this show on the road. But Krieg grabs her ass and tugs her up towards his face. She probably makes an embarrassing noise as his tongue slides across her clit.

 

Krieg eats pussy the same way he does everything. Messy. With manic enthusiasm. He slurps, and sucks, and manages to flick his tongue just the right way to make Maya shiver. When he slips a thick finger in her, it’s all over. She’s tensing and pulsing with pleasure. He doesn’t stop. So one orgasm just kinda rolls over into the next.

 

Maya knows she babbling. What exactly she’s saying is anyone’s guess. _Yes, please, right there, oh god, oh god, oh fuck._ Krieg reaches up with his free hand to start playing with her nipples. He pinches just a little too hard, and it makes her gush all over his face.

 

Krieg could probably go for hours left to his own devices. He seems to genuinely enjoy going down on her. And thus far, she hasn’t found an upper limit on how long it can keep his interest. He shows no outward signs of getting bored or even tired. Maya, on the other hand, can only come about five times before she needs a break. And a nap. Talk about role inversion, huh? So she pulls away as soon as her legs stop feeling quite so shaky.

 

She slides onto Krieg’s cock pretty easy, since she’s already warmed up. She’s not in a big hurry. So she enjoys the slow, dirty grind for a minute. Just barely lifting up before rocking back down. Krieg groans, but he lets her set the pace. Keeps his hands on her tits. Still twisting her nipples just a touch too rough.

 

“NAY BUT TO LIVE IN THE RANK SWEAT OF AN ENSEMED BED, STEWED IN CORRUPTION, HONEYING AND MAKING LOVE OVER THE NASTY STY.”

 

One of Krieg’s hands strays downwards. His palm rests on her hip as he drags his thumb across her clit. It’s too much. But she doesn’t want it to stop. He’s tricked her into speeding up. She moves faster because she needs to come right the fuck now.

 

“FLESH STAYS NO FURTHER REASON BUT RISING AT THY NAME.”

 

Maya shudders apart, as Krieg’s booming voice echoes through the cave. Her hips jerk, trying to get away from the stimulation. But Krieg keeps rubbing her swollen clit. Maybe gentler than, but still insistent.

 

The sounds tumbling out of Maya’s mouth probably sound more like a dying Rakk than anything that belongs in a porno. She can’t help it. The harsh, guttural moans and wails are all she can do to cope as the overstimulation edges back towards pleasure. It almost feels like someone shot her with a shock gun. Her frayed nerves won’t stop sparking, sending mixed signals, overloading her brain.

 

She might have an orgasm as some sort of defense mechanism. Too much tension. Too much input. Something had to give. She slumps forward and Krieg thrusts into her. Deep and fast. It’s over too quick to be uncomfortable. Not even ten seconds later, he grunts and goes still.

 

Krieg holds her close as they both lie there panting. They’re sweaty, sticky, and exhausted. It’s a gorgeous feeling. Even better when Krieg starts trailing his fingers across her back aimlessly, tracing unknowable patterns on her skin. His cock eventually softens and slips out of her. She doesn’t want to move. Krieg’s ribcage rising and falling as he breathes might be rocking her to sleep.

 

 _“They are in the very wrath of love, and they will go together. Clubs cannot part them.”_ Krieg’s voice sounds… different. Deep and pensive. The polar opposite of his usual crazed shrieks.

 

Maya lifts her head, resting her chin on folded hands, her palms splayed against his broad chest. He’s looking back at her. She can tell despite the awkward angle. For a fleeting moment, she wonders if he knows what he’s saying. The wrath of _love_. Is he saying he loves her? Or just spouting found-word poetry from the seemingly extensive library of his previous mind.

 

“You know something? I don’t think I’ve ever been in love before. I thought maybe it just wasn’t a thing that would happen for me. I’m still not sure… but I don’t know. I care about you. And I don't care about many people. So, take that for what it’s worth.”

 

“Hear my soul speak. Of the very instant I saw you, did my heart fly at your service.”

 

“Yeah?” Maya smiles. “I could kind of tell. Weirdly, enough. Sir Poop Train Conductor.”

 

“I’LL MAKE MY HEAVEN IN THE BLUE LADY’S LAP!” Krieg cackles.

 

Next thing Maya knows he’s rolled them over and pinned her down. Somehow, he’s already hard again. He slips into her so smoothly. She’s still slick and open. Hell, his jizz is probably still leaking out of her. So… whatever. Even if she’s tired, it won’t hurt or anything. Maya wraps her legs around Krieg’s waist and just enjoys the ride.

 

He’s careful with her at least. Keeps a reasonable pace. Cradles her head in one hand, almost like a pillow. She’s incredibly relaxed, considering the circumstances. Most people would not be relaxed with a huge, naked Psycho on top of them. But Krieg honestly makes her feel safer than anyone else.

 

It’s not too long before he finishes. Adds to the mess inside her. He slumps to the side. After he collects himself, he pulls her against his chest so that they’re spooning. It’s the way they usually fall asleep these days. Maya can’t say she’s upset about it.

 

“Goodnight, muscles.”

 

“PARTING IS SUCH SWEET SLAUGHTER.”

 

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll see you in the morning.”

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if you got notifications about this posting like 5 times? Idk what was going on yesterday.


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